These were our top entries for the September edition of Poetreel Monthly Competition:
Ajah Ndidi Patience: https://poetreel.com/track/6L3PSlanD2rH2Te/play
Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu: https://poetreel.com/track/PlLLckTjcYaPK85/play
Glory Elijah: https://poetreel.com/track/DFDBrAgnQjEbnZP
Aanuoluwapo Aremo: https://poetreel.com/track/RoujSrSmPl2oyu5/play
Mbaike Onyinyechukwu: https://poetreel.com/track/VE64YibGhgQByPJ
These are the comments by our Judges:
Saint Rhymes (Judge 1):
Ajah Ndidi Patience
The background music was too loud! You could have done better without it. However, your piece was good.
Grraciano (Judge 2)
Ajah Ndidi Patience
Highlights: The use of Vivid imagery and a depth of emotion. A different perspective and a creative weave.
Areas for Improvement: Try to be more audible so that the audience is not overly dependent on subtitles. Consider the range mix of your listeners as not everyone would relate to some figurative inclusions from movies. Some metaphors are quite disjointed, e.g. her heart longs for home but she's far from being sherlock Holmes.
Judge 1
Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu
Nice work! Your poem was relevant to the theme, you made good use of metaphors and imagery. One thing to note is that you didn't give us a little pause which would have heightened the emotions needed to drive your poem. I noticed your improvement in your enuciations. Good work!!!
Judge 2
Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu
Could easily pass for a breezy post, with not much intentionality in writing.
For a spoken word poem, it lacks the structural framework for artistic expressions.
Highlights: Delicately emotional, vulnerable. Impressive use of metaphors.
Areas for Improvement: Consider a properly punctuated delivery, both in page and performance. A broader perspective on the subject would help to enhance the quality of the content.
Judge 1
Mbaike Onyinyechukwu
Good poem! The imagery was good, I could see the guy holding the ocean in his hand. Work on your voice tone and inflection. But you did well!
Judge 2
Mbaike Onyinyechukwu
Highlights: Awesome delivery. Beautiful word plays laced with humour. Very relatable emotions. It's a skillfully written piece, very mindful. The delivery makes up for the Rough edges of the poem.
Areas for Improvement: Lines like the opening line could do with finer finishings. The metaphor in that line is quite ambiguous.
For a less exposed listener, kayamata would not convey desired impact, so try to be a bit more versatile considering the universality of the subject.
Judge 1
Aanuoluwapo Aremo
You aced it. Nice concept. I like how you played with Puns/Pawns. Voice can be clearer though. Improve on your inflections.
Judge 2
Aanuoluwapo Aremo
Highlights: A concisely delivered poem with a beautiful narrative style.
Good word play. Emotional vulnerability. Powerful end note.
Areas for Improvement: Punctuation and lexical organisation.
Judge 1
Glory Elijah
Your poem triggered a whole lot of emotions. Your use of inflections was great, poetic devices commendable. Keep improving!!
Judge 2
Glory Elijah
It was beautifully delivered with a depth of emotional authenticity. Vivid and evocative use of metaphors while maintaining the message of the poem. Every line is relatable.
Highlight: The composure and conversational tone of delivery enforces the impact of the message.
Areas for Improvement: Consider a more captivating start. For the sake of poetry, consider a more organised arrangement of your stanzas.
The top three poets are:
3rd: Mbaike Onyinyechukwu
2nd: Aanuoluwapo Aremo
1st: Glory Elijah.
Congrats to the winners, do check your inbox on poetreel.com on or before October 10, 2024 for further information about your prize.
The October edition of the Poetreel Monthly Competition starts on October 1, 2024. More details will be available via www.poetreel.com/blogs
Let the words rain, so words can reign!!!
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