Grraciano (Judge 2)
Some of the language and metaphors, while creative, feel a bit over-the-top or clichéd (e.g., "Word is your portal to paradise," "You are deities").

 

Highlight:

The line "And every word is a spell that binds their minds to the endless possibilities of a constructive dream" stands out as a beautiful and effective summary of the poem's central idea.

 

Suggested Improvement:

Consider revising the poem to have a clearer and more cohesive structure, with more attention to line-level crafting and editing to ensure that each line contributes to the overall impact of the poem.

Peace 
Judge 1
Attend more open nics and improve your POETIC inspiration.

Judge 2 
One area for improvement is the poem's structure and pacing. The poet must understand what makes a spoken word piece a poem. Some lines feel a bit disconnected, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the line "From afar they ask: Is she okay?" feels a bit abrupt and disrupts the flow of the poem. Additionally, some lines, such as "Well straighten out / So I can fly as high as the eagle," could be rephrased for better clarity and impact.

Highlight:
The repetition of "Words, Give me wings" is a powerful refrain that becomes a rallying cry for the poet's journey.

Area for improvement:
Know the difference between a spoken word poem and other spoken word types. Smoothing out the poem's structure and pacing to enhance the overall flow and impact.

Mmachukwu 
Judge 1
Lovely, message was clear. Keep improving and please don't box yourself.

Judge 2 
The best part of the poem is its raw honesty, the almost perfect use of sound devices, and vivid imagery, which effectively conveys the pain and resilience of the speaker. The lines "This is torture... Leaving her believing she is damaged and irreparable" and "Each trauma made her who she is, not healing, never becoming whole again" are particularly striking in their ability to capture the devastating impact of trauma.

One area for improvement is the poem's structure and organization. At times, the language and ideas feel a bit disjointed, making it hard to follow the speaker's train of thought. Additionally, some lines feel a bit repetitive or cliche ("wearing this bruise," "gained wings to live above what she can't change"), which detracts from the poem's overall impact.

Highlight:
The poem's ability to convey the complex emotions and experiences of trauma survivors is remarkable. The image of the "caged bird" is effectively used to convey the speaker's longing for freedom and expression, reminding us of Maya Angelou's "Caged Bird."

Area for improvement
Refining the poem's structure and language to enhance clarity and impact. Consider breaking the poem into stanzas or sections to improve flow and organization.

Solomon 
Judge 1 
This is amazing. The pause, the punchlines. I love it. Keep growing.

Judge 2 
Highlight: 
The imagery and metaphors used throughout the piece are vivid and evocative. It creates a rich and immersive experience for the reader. For example, "pages are heavy and drenching from the hefty drips flowing from my inkwell" and "each word is spilt, he shall atone for the way it has made me feel" are standout lines that showcase the writer's skill with language.

Part that could be better: 
Not providing the texts of the piece on the dashboard is a turnoff especially because other poems were judged for structure. Also at times, the writing (audio) feels a bit disjointed and hard to follow especially because of the easy rhymes (ion and ing rhymes). Some sentences are long and convoluted, which can make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Additionally, there are some repetitive phrases and ideas (e.g., the image of writing to pages is repeated several times), which could be condensed or varied to create a more dynamic and cohesive piece.

Ifeoma 
Judge 1
You did well. But there is room for improvement. I kind of feel this is not your original voice.

Judge 2 
Highlight: 
Beginning the line with Onomatopoeia was quite abrupt and attention-grabbing. Something poets who are putting up digital content on the busy internet should emulate. Also, the numerous use of Biblical allusions gave depth to the piece. The tone is both sonorous and motivational. I'm still stupefied at how she achieved this in one piece.

Part that could be better: 
Again, not providing the texts of the piece on the dashboard is a turnoff especially because other poems were judged for structure. Also at times, the "Tablespoon" line was going on well until the grammar error (number) ruined it. I'm certain that if she'd used a metaphor instead of a simile there, it'd have been punchier and devoid of that error.

Joshua 
Judge 1 
Voice well blended with the instrumental. You are truly an artist. Keep improving.

Judge 2 
Highlight:
The most striking aspect of this poem is its ability to convey the artist's sense of purpose and identity through their creative expression even with the rich use of sound devices. It's almost perfect in the use of Sound Device. This is what I'd conveniently use as an example of what a spoken word poem is. The lines "I am my words / My words are my works / I am each and every creation called forth" effectively capture the idea that the artist's creations are an extension of themselves.

Suggestions for improvement:
Edit for clarity and concision to make the language more accessible. Also check for typos and grammar errors before puttingout your content eg "every words" should have been "every word". There are a few others too. Consider adding more nuanced and specific imagery to avoid clichés and hohums.

And the Top Three Poets are:

3rd: Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu

2nd: Jon Kote

1st: Joshua Osayiwu

Congrats to the winners, do check your inbox on poetreel.com on or before 31st of August for further information about your prize.

The August edition of Poetreel Monthly Competition starts from August 1, 2024. More details will be available via www.poetreel.com/blogs 

Let the words rain, so words can reign!!!