These were our top entries for the December edition of Poetreel Monthly Competition:
If I Have One Wish
By
Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu
If Wishes Were True
By
Joseph Daniel
Fleeting wishes
By
Christian Emiewo Oghenefejiro
One Final Wish
By
Michael Meshach
If I have one wish
By
Justina Raphael
If I have one wish
By Maryam Mustapha Babakano
Just One Wish
By
Chisom Doris Uwakwe
One wish
By
Duke Butler
One Wish
By
James Eneojile
These are the comments by our Judges:
1. Joseph Daniel: "If Wishes Were True"
Saint Rhymes (Judge 1)
Good poem. The only thing I'll point out is that your delivery didn't evoke a feeling in the listeners. Do a practice of voice inflections and know when to pause.
Good job!
Grraciano (Judge 2)
Strengths:
I like the masterful use of repetition and adaptation of humour. The poem's structure, flow, and emotional resonance are outstanding. The controversy in wishing to be God is much appreciated too.
Weaknesses:
While the poem leans towards self-gratification, the spoken word poet in me cringes from the sparse use of sound devices. The use of cliché lines too like wiser than Solomon makes the poem less original. I see the similarity in the poem and the theme, however it is not exactly in line.
2. Mmachukwu Chukwuumelu: "If I Had One Wish"
Judge 1
Nice poem, the imagery is stunning, with phrases like "every face feels known", "the air smells of peace", and "the fire's warmness reaches the coldest parts of us".
However, I didn't feel your delivery was enough. I have heard better delivery from you...don't drop the ball
Judge 2
Strengths:
Proper articulation of words and emotions through tone of voice.
Weaknesses:
Sparse use of poetic and sound devices.
Minimal mention of the theme.
It lacks the creativity a poem should have
Very cliché too
3. Christian Emiewo Oghenefejiro: "Fleeting Wishes"
Judge 1
This is a beautiful and introspective piece. It's a deeply personal and philosophical reflection on the human desire to leave a mark, to shine brightly, and to be remembered.
However, the delivery didn't do justice, maybe you should have used a better soundtrack
Judge 2
Strengths:
Beautiful use of biblical illusion and rhetorics.
Good movie reference too
Weaknesses:
Mother tongue interference.
4. Michael Meshach: "One Final Wish"
Judge 1
A perfect blend of pen and voice.
Everything is right about this poem.
Keep the fire burning.
Judge 2
Strengths:
Very nostalgic and emotional, with great use of metaphors.
Weaknesses:
It's more of a page poem than a spoken word poem.
5. Justina Raphael "If I Have One Wish"
Judge 1
Why do I feel like you ended abruptly?
Nice poem, nice play on words.
I feel you could have taken this more seriously which might mean having to record more than once, so you can send the best output.
I believe you can do better next time.
Judge 2
Strengths: Confidence, controversial writing, staying on topic.
Weaknesses:
Unclear audio
Misinformed writing, what the poet is writing about isn't "the sexist narrative".
Lack of poetic devices
6. Maryam Mustapha Babakano: "If I Have One Wish"
Judge 1
Short poems can be very powerful when well-written and well-delivered. The brevity of your poem would have made you stand out, but the delivery wasn't up to par. You sounded unsure!
But hey, keep writing, and look out for open mics!
Judge 2
Strengths: Short and concise, on topic, confident.
Weaknesses:
Lacks originality
Features a lot of chat GPT language
Poor pronunciation
Lack of poetic devices
Not sure what the one wish is though, because the poet wrote about 3 wishes.
7. Chisom Doris Uwakwe: "Just One Wish"
Judge 1
You will do well with a bit more investment of time. Your poem has a clear and consistent rhyme scheme, which adds to its musicality. However, the delivery is poor.
Judge 2
Strengths:
On-topic, confident, popular/ mainstream opinion.
Weaknesses:
Lack of poetic and sound device.
Not slam material.
Try out at open mics first and build your voice inflections.
8. Duke Butler: "One Wish"
Judge 1
Nice work. your content is not bad at all, I just did not feel your delivery. looked like a speech much more than a poem or spoken word piece. You need to go out to open mics and try out your stuff.
Judge 2
Strengths:
Relatable Point of View, great storytelling, and use of repetition.
Weaknesses:
Left the topic till the last line
Work on vocal inflections.
9. James Eneojile: "One Wish"
Judge 1
Good job! You blended your pen and voice well. However, you can do better and I expect that from you.
Judge 2
Strengths:
Great storytelling, good voice inflections, great use of poetic devices.
Weaknesses:
Lacks sound devices
The top three poets are:
3rd: James Eneojile
2nd: Christian Emiewo Oghenefejiro
Congrats to the winners, do check your inbox on poetreel.com on or before January 15, 2025, for further information about your prize.
2nd: Christian Emiewo Oghenefejiro
1st: Michael Meshach
Congrats to the winners, do check your inbox on poetreel.com on or before January 15, 2025, for further information about your prize.
Poetreel Monthly Competition will have a break this January 2025.
The February edition of Poetreel Monthly Competition starts on February 1, 2025.
More details will be available via www.poetreel.com/blogs
Let the words rain, so words can reign!!!
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